A SMILE FOR SUNDAY

Sharing with you this lovely letter written by a small child on the skills of wrapping a Christmas gift.

This certainly made me smile and I hope it does you too.

Love and hugs,

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A GENTLE REMINDER

Just a gentle reminder that there are only

 357 

days until Christmas,

Goodnight one and all - back soon with more Christmas things to share.

Love and hugs,

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TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE.

Tequila Christmas Cake

1-cup water
1-tsp. baking soda
1-cup sugar
1-tsp. salt
1-cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2-cups dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. (I already sampled it...several times to check the quality)

Take a large bowl, check the tequila again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point its best o make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something.

Check the tequila.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Love and Laughter and hugs,

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WHY SANTA IS A MAN

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COOKIE RULES

Christmas Cookie Rules
  
1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
  
2.  If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.
  
3.   If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free, rule #1 is yours also.  It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes your cookie calorie free.
  
4.  Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move.  This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
  
5.  Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
  
6.  Cookies colored red or green have very few calories.  Red ones have three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter.  Make more red ones!
  
7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's persona l fuel.
  
8.  As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
  
9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.  We all know how calories like to CLING!

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories.  It's a rule!

Love and hugs,

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SOME BRIGHT AND CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS MUSIC

It's the "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" - well it is in my heart anyway.  I can find joy and happiness in being busy and looking forward to Christmas - listening to Christmas music etc. writing Christmas Cards and decorating.   

I have been doing all of that today - I have been a busy little elf today and achieved much.

Take some time and listen to this:

http://www.links2love.com/christmas-songs-hippopotamus.htm

It brought me a smile and hope it brings one to you too.

Have a wonderful time anticipating Christmas - enjoy it all.

Love and hugs,

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T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (PUPPY STYLE)

'twas the Night Before Christmas (dog version)

It was about time for Christmas, and all through the house A creature was stirring, but it wasn't a mouse I knew right away it was my wife's little pup, She thought we were sleeping, and so she was up The dog was a gift it was coercion, really, A woman can pout, 'til a man gets downright silly. And now the wife was snoozing she was really sacked out She wouldn't have awoke from less than a shout. Yes, her in her nightgown, I in my BVDs, We had finally settled down to catch some Zs When off in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I rolled from the bed to see what was the matter. Away down the hall, my head in a muddle, I reached the kitchen...and stepped in a puddle. The glow from a nightlight illuminated the room, So how come I stumbled over the broom? I fell in a sprawl, my legs were not stable. On the way down, my nose hit the table. My head was a spinnin' and when I came to rest Four miniature dog feet stood on my chest. With a lick and a bark, she bounded away, Into the living room, she ran to play. More rapid than mouses, that rat terrier ran, Me on the follow, rolled newspaper in hand. "Stop, Skeeter! Stop, Dog! Stop, Pup! Halt, Pooch! Halt, Girl! Oh, come'ere, you mutt! "Get off the new couch! Now let go of that curtain! Ohhh...If I ever catch you, you're gonna' be hurtin'" As winds of a Texas tornado do fly, She spun round the room, down low and up high. Then up on the countertop, that puppy went She stopped for a second. I thought she was spent. I make a quick lunge, she ducked me and then Yawned when I dove through the flour bin. As I drew out my head and was turning around, She made for the presents, in a single bound. I was covered with flour, from my head to my toes, My robe in tatters, and blood on my nose. A bag full of toys, she grabbed with glee I nabbed her, I thought, but instead got the tree. The ornaments, they broke, as they began to fall The lights, how they fizzled, and that is not all. When I reached for the plug, to turn the bulbs out, What flowed through my body, but electricity, so stout! As smoke encircled my head like a wreath, That dog held my big toe, tight in her teeth. "Skeeter," I moaned, "I give up. Oh, Skeet, I give in." So she bit my swollen nose, and nipped at my chin. She spoke not a word, but went back to work, Down came the stockings it took just a jerk. Then up from the hall, came the sound of feet, Momma, it seemed was awake from her sleep. "Now you'll get it pup," I announced with glee. Then Skeeter walked over and put her little head on my knee. She looked up at my wife - so innocent - and at me, so, so sad. And it didn't take long, to know I'd been had. Then came the wife's voice, so strong and so clear, "Bill, you leave that puppy alone! You hear!" And I exclaimed to myself, as they walked out with a strut, "Don't leave any gifts, Santa just PICK UP THE MUTT!" 'The night before Christmas' was written by Bill McClellan

Love and hugs,

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WRAPPING PRESENTS WITH THE CAT.

Clear large space on table for wrapping present. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door. Open door and remove cat from closet. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper. Go back and remove cat from cupboard. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. . . Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string. Remove present from bag. Remove cat from bag. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in. Place present on paper. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper. Put present in box, and tie down with string. Remove string, open box and remove cat. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door) Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best) Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat. Go to store and buy a gift bag. Love and hugs,

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WRAPPING PRESENTS WITH THE DOG.

1. Gather presents, boxes, paper, etc. in middle of living room floor. 2. Get tape back from puppy. 3. Remove scissors from older dog's mouth. 4. Open box. 5. Take puppy out of box. 6. Remove tape from older dog's mouth. 7. Take scissors away from puppy. 8. Put present in box. 9. Remove present from puppy's mouth. 10. Put back in box after removing puppy from box. 11. Take scissors from older dog and sit on them. 12. Remove puppy from box and put on lid. 13. Take tape away from older dog. 14. Unroll paper. 15. Take puppy OFF box. 16. Cut paper being careful not to cut puppy's foot or nose that is getting in the way as he "helps." 17. Let puppy tear remaining paper. 18. Take puppy off box. 19. Wrap paper around box. 20. Remove puppy from box & take wrapping paper from its mouth. 21. Tell older dog to fetch the tape so he will stop stealing it. 22. Take scissors away from puppy. 23. Take tape older dog is holding. 24. Quickly tape one spot before taking scissors from older dog & sitting on them again. 25. Fend off puppy trying to steal tape & tape another spot. 26. Take bow from older dog. 27. Go get roll of wrapping paper puppy ran off with. 28. Take scissors from older dog who took them when you got up. 29. Give pen to older dog to hold so he stops licking your face. 30. Remove puppy from present & hurriedly slap tape on to hold the paper on. 31. Take now soggy bow from puppy & tape on since the sticky stuff no longer sticks. 32. Take pen from older dog, address tag & affix while puppy tries to eat pen. 33. Grab present before puppy opens it & put it away. 34. Clean up mess puppy & older dog made playing tug-of-war with remnants of wrapping paper. 35. Put away rest of wrapping supplies & tell dogs what good helpers they are.

Love and hugs,

__._,_.___

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SOME CHRISTMAS HUMOUR

Sharing this Christmas humour with you.

• Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here."
• Bridal boutique: "Marry Christmas."
• Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club."
• At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd."
• A Texas jewelry store: "Diamond tiaras -- $70,000. Three for $200,000."
• A reducing salon: "24 Shaping Days until Christmas."
• In a stationery store: "For the man who has everything... A calendar to remind him when payments are due.

I hope they bring a smile to your day.

Love and hugs,

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.

Roy L. Smith

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